26

^^6th birthday party.  Don't know what in the world I was 

wearing, but at least I had my party at Discovery Zone!

Today is my 26th birthday.  I'm sitting on my couch, by myself, next to the Christmas tree with a cup of hot chocolate.  I haven't spoken in person to anyone since I left the grocery store Thursday evening, just before #Icemaggedon2013 hit Dallas.

With the roads being so icy, my plans for celebrating with family last night were cancelled, and plans with girlfriends for tonight look like they probably need to be cancelled as well.  I'm really hopeful (for everyone else's sanity and safety, in addition to my own) that the temperatures rise enough tomorrow for this all to start melting so we can be out and about again.

Did I intend to be alone on my birthday?  No.  I don't need any kind of grand celebration, but do I wish I was with the people that mean the most to me today?  Of course.

But last night, as I started to feel myself getting bummed about spending the weekend solo, I realized that this is okay.  I may be by myself, but I am safe, I am warm, and I know that I am loved.  And I have so much for which to be thankful.  How easy it is for our hearts to fixate on what we wish we had, and what little things may be "wrong" with our present situation, rather than praising the Lord for all the goodness He provides!

My 25th year was a game-changer.  God absolutely humbled my heart, and halfway through the year, I was struck by something I heard in a sermon.  "Faith is trusting God."  So simple, but until that moment, I thought that my tendency to worry about things or feel anxious was just part of who I am.  Who I always would be.  I realized then that by worrying, I was doubting God's ability to provide for me and protect me. Recognizing that, and learning what it really looks like to trust God, has completely shifted my perspective.

I have to laugh, because at the end of a year that's broken down my need for control and tendency to be a planning, must-know-what-is-ahead worrier, it only makes sense that all plans are thrown out the window for this weekend.  Being iced in is giving me so much time to be still and relax, to catch up on things that have been pushed aside, and to just reflect and be grateful.

And, what better way is there to ring in 26 than with champagne and The Santa Clause? : )