It's so crazy to think about what I was doing during this time a year ago... going to San Antonio for a spring break trip, trying to recover from mono, wondering where Alex would be going to grad school, and worrying about finding a job and graduating in a matter of weeks. I was happy, but I was also very anxious about the future and the unknown.
Fast forward one year and here I am-- 7 months into a full-time job that I love, 7 months into doing a long-distance relationship, saving money, paying bills, and having fun in my free time. I've decided that this point in my life is kind of an "in-between stage." When I was younger, I would picture my future in very specific stages-- the stage where I was in college, earning my degree and having fun, and then the "after college stage," where I would suddenly become an adult overnight. This stage in my head meant a job, moving out, getting married, and eventually having kids. I have learned in this first year out of school that my visions weren't quite right. I am in a phase where I am a semi-adult, at least by my own definition. I have a salary job, pay for my own clothes, entertainment, gas, car insurance, credit card, and some pretty hefty college loans. I am 23 and legally can make my own decisions and support myself if I so choose. However, I live at home with my parents, and they still pay for the house, the utilities, and the groceries. This is such a blessing, because life is expensive! Living at home for a while is definitely helping me so much.. and I am putting money in savings every month.
Still, I struggle with this "limbo land" status. I have days where I am completely content with things exactly as they are, but I also have days where I am impatient and ready to move out of my house and be completely independent, pay off my loans, be in the same city as Alex, and get married. I worry about the future just as much as I did a year ago, except that now I have new things to worry about. The things I used to worry about are in the past. I have no idea how these new worries will turn out, but what I need to remember is that God has a plan for my life. One of my favorite quotes is "Patience means waiting for God's time without doubting His love." I have it written on a Post-It note in my jewelry box so that I see it every morning, and it reminds me that things in my life will happen according to God's divine plan, not on MY own time schedule, because He knows best. And through it all, I cannot doubt His love for me, because everything will become clear, even when life is scary and uncertain.
What I am going to work on, and hope to update about in this blog, is becoming content with life exactly as it is now. Yes, this may be an unusual phase in my life, but I only am in this place once, and I will move on to the next phase soon enough. I need to be okay with what God has given me now, and put my full trust in the beautiful plan He has unfolding for me.